Desiderata

Norfolk, VA

Potential guidance for a Joyful New Year!

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story. 

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.

New Year's Eve

Norfolk, VA

Sheltered, warm, fed, loved and loving. Feeling joy in spite of all that is awry in the world that I know and love. On our boat, the well named Grace, with my beloved David and beloved Amelia, listening to country music and unexpected, unknown Christmas carols and songs on the radio. Yesterday's gout is much diminished with little pain now that I'm back to my more balanced diet.

We participated in a local marina New Year's Eve ritual - gathering on the end of the dock to have appetizers and toast the last sunset of the year. We joined about 10 people several we're friendly with from the Monday night potlucks for a very chilly (actually really cold with wind chill), rather quick few moments of conversation and fellowship. Neither sunset nor full moon rise were visible through cloud cover but faith that both were there. Then back to Grace for hot soup, reading, writing.

I finished reading Black Like Me by John Griffin today, an iconic book from the early 1960s about the realities, the horrors of racism - racism both subtle and blatant. For those who don't know the book, Mr Griffin, a white writer/journalist changed his skin color in order to live among black people in the South, a sociological research project. His stories of his experiences of injustice, disrespect, fear, poverty living as a black man remind me of stories African American dancer friend, Arthur Hall (now passed over) told me of growing up in Tennessee.  How we humans can be so inhumane to other humans explodes my brain and hurts my heart.

There is a final section of the journal/book in which Mr. Griffin speaks about what has changed (into the 70s?) since his book was published. He spoke of how many of us, black and white, hoped for integration of our cultures; how that mostly meant black becoming more like us white folk as we were the dominate, more powerful culture. It became apparent that the black people needed to discover or rediscover their own heritage and culture, somewhat apart from their relation to the dominate and dominating European-based heritage.

So here we are more than a half century later - some progress in embracing difference with respect, and justice, for some...but not all. I wonder now if Latinos and Republicans and Democrats must also discover or rediscover our own heritage, look carefully at the assets and the liabilities, the lightness and the darkness of each of cultural/social/economic heritage and decide, in love, what we want to bring forward to create a more generous and balanced world.

I feel as if I'm rambling here, not quite able to put my thinking out there clearly. Another memory of sobbing through Bamuthi's dance/text class at Bates Dance Festival one year. Saying to him "But things are better. We're not hanging black people." I'm humbled and embarrassed by my naivete' of his lived experience.

In my head all day I've been trying to draw back a quote, a sentence in a man's voice...."and here we are......" I can't bring the rest but it has to do with thoughts like "again", "together", "searching", "being our most human, defective, and luminous selves".  Lacking ability to identify and bring back this, "Desiderata" gets pretty close and is a good way to bring in the new year. These last phrases...I'll copy the entire poem in another post.

Joyful, healthy New Year filled with love and compassion, from and to each and all.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.

gout???

Norfolk, VA ( for another week probably)

GOUT?!?!??? Are you kidding?  How embarrassing! And painful!! Most of yesterday, swelling in my left wrist. Did I wack it? Overuse stress injury? I do use my left hand to balance when peeing in the chamber pot, when carrying gallons of water to the boat, stepping onto the boat from the dock.
Swollen and painful yesterday but last night was excruciating. Only in one position did my arm/wrist have any relief. Limited sleep in spite of drugs.

First thing this morning, to the emergency room at a smaller hospital. Since my injury was not life-threatening I was "in waiting" a long time. And I was pretty confident I'd cracked a bone somehow. Gout was not in my vocabulary, mostly because of my mostly vegetable and grain diet. And I only knew of gout in lower extremities. But, no fracture showed up on x-rays. Dr. Amaradeep Singh said we would treat it as gout and I left with prescriptions for Prednisone - steroid, ugh! - for four days, and acetaminophen. We learned that gout can flare with excess of meat, beer, alcohol, coffee. Okay - more meat last week with family than I usually have in 3-4 weeks, no leafy greens or green veggies to speak of, and back to the boat I had alcohol for the first time in a week - beer and next night, a  Scotch. And not nearly enough water to flush those purines and urics away! Of interest to us is that the fish we love also can contribute to uric acid build up, and bananas and vitamin C reduce the acid. Who knew?

Another serendipity - Dr. Singh's wife is from Bar Harbor. We had a lovely chat about Maine, boating and invited him to look us up when they were in Maine. We'd love to have them visit us, maybe a sail. He was a delightful man, kept apologizing for having to leave me to see about a heart attack patient. "No worries. Go. I'm in pain but not about to die." Dr Singh told us that the propensity for gout could also be genetic which caused me to remember that both Mother and Dad had suffered with bouts of gout.  Hmmm, bouts of gout(s)...must be a poem or story in that phrase.

Post-emergency visit - which was the quietest emergency room I've ever been in, though they did put me in a conference room because all the examination rooms were full and I wasn't bleeding - David and I went for breakfast/lunch and had an excellent egg/collards/hot sauce biscuit. Then took a drive to the Norfolk Zoological Park but decided to not really visit. David bought a pair of gloves in the gift shop.

Then a visit to the Hampton Roads Naval Museum and the Nauticus Museum and the Battle Ship Wisconsin. We know I'm not a fan of war machines (or war) but I'm so impressed with workmanship and the size (LARGE!) of these Navy vessels. Two photos from the Wisconsin:

Signal Flag Station

The Signal Flag station was two bays, each about six feet long with halyards tied off. I don't know where the flags were stored but the buttons (sort of tie-offs for the halyard ?) and the legend under them picturing each flag and meaning...
It just reminded me of backstage theater fly loft. 

The bicycle rack (below) gives a whole new meaning to "bikes on board." They were hung under the third deck, accessible from deck 2. I didn't notice whether there was a companion one for balance and symmetry the other side of the ship but this rack would hold about 20 full sized bikes.

Bike rack

It was fun for me to be in downtown Norfolk. The Nauticus is near the area of town that hosts the High School Dance Festival that I attended several years when working for Bates Dance Festival. We missed seeing Todd's dance studio but drove by the hotel where most activities took place, perhaps still do, and walked the water front nearby. In spite of the cold and a bit of gout pain it was great to be out of the marina, walking and remembering fun dance times.

Home for a dinner of things on the gout diet menu - chicken, roasted root veggies and leafy greens. Soon another drug for pain and off to bed for me.

New Year's Eve may be t.v. or movie night in the Breezeway Cafe (lounge) with no drinking for me. I'm the enforced DD in case we thought of driving - not.

Full moon coming. Howl! With gusto and safety.

Still Norfolk

Norfolk, VA

Cold morning.Returned the rental car, brushed teeth, David shaved, breakfast had...not necessarily in that order. A number of phone calls regarding boat vibration fix. We're here for another week in order to replace the engine mounts with another variety. Shower (as in bath) day for me. Beautiful evening light that I couldn't get a good photo of. Dinner, FB posts, check the bank account in prep for another expensive boat repair. Great support from women in Women Who Sail.

I'm noticing I have more patience that in weeks past. Things/circumstances are as they are. I've shelter, warmth, food, love surrounding me. What more is there? Blessed. I've an injured wrist. painful. Over-use, I think. Merde.

cold in Norfolk

Norfolk, VA

39 degrees in the pilot house this morning, made getting out of the deliciously warm bed a bit of a challenge. Bright sun. Windy. This is when we're glad the boat hull is black to absorb whatever solar heat is available. It snowed!!! Something they call "the Bay effect." Only snow shower, nothing of consequence EXCEPT that we're trying to avoid snow and cold.

Clever David lined all the windows with that shiny, bubble-wrap-type insulation we have on board for some reason. Wait...for exactly this reason! That helped keep heat in last eve. Our dock neighbors are leaving for FL today. Big power boat they are warming up with engines running. The boat is surging on her dock lines, ready to get out of cold. Actually, all the boats are surging a bit in the wind and tide but the idea of the going-to-FLorida boat ready was more imaginative than wind and surf, today at least.

We spent the day on the boat tightening the bolts on the motor mount hangers. Several were loose...well not loose but not snug tight either...until now. A local diesel mechanic came to consult, spent about an hour and suggested that the problem is the motor mounts, lovely ones but probably not the best for our boat. Others have suggested the motor mounts as the problem, that they are transferring the engine vibration throughout the hull. Oh man, what to do? Who to trust...what information to trust? We can only rely on "the kindness of strangers" and the recommendations of people we don't know well but who have little to gain or loose, so why wouldn't they advise based on their best thinking?

Questions: Shall we stay in Norfolk and have this repair completed by a highly recommended mechanic? Shall we continue, now, to warmer weather and do the mechanic research all over again? I think we've decided to NOT take Grace back to Zimmerman's Marine. They guarantee their work but, apparently not the results of their work. Even though they say "satisfaction guaranteed." Clearly their work on our boat is good. And very clearly, we are not satisfied with the result. Lovely, competent humans but... Expensive trip south and we're not even in warm weather yet! Was this supposed to be a vacation? Nah! An adventure with my honey.

Research tomorrow into "other" motor mounts, cost, when/where available - it is New Year's weekend, and who's working??!? Then talk to mechanic to see when he (in this case, a he) can do this additional repair...and cost. Another several days in Norfolk? As vacation???  Ah, adventure.

Tonight, a trip to Lowe's for some insulation. David cut several new pieces to fit the pilot house doors. Our tin foil pilot house.

Warmer already. Now we're post-dinner and both working on computers across the table from each other. Amelia on my lap. Bruce Hornsby on the CD player. We were both remembering hearing him at an LL Bean outdoor concert this summer. Superb. Before Bruce we had The Police blaring. No near neighbors in this mostly deserted for winter marina.

Life is good. We've shelter and warmth, food and love, and health.

road trip

Norfolk, VA

Yippee! We're back on the boat. Dear Grace is a little chilly. We have the tiny electric heater going and the propane heater and the two oil lamps. All the way up to 48 degrees. I'm wearing my hat. We are comfortable! The wind is blowing so we're swaying a bit on our lines. Comfortable. Amelia is on my lap. We've just finished a dinner of pasta and brussel sprouts. YoYo Ma and Bobby McFerrin are on the cd player. Good Scotch and good (?) red wine. Can you imagine life is good? I've had a bit of that good Scotch so I'm swaying with the boat.

A day in the car. Kitty was not pleased but tolerated the journey with only a minor throw-up of Doritos. Now who would feed a cat Doritos on a road trip? Bad human. She seemed to enjoy the salt, but really!

Before we left NC aunt Kathleen had a little tumble in her bedroom. I'd been thinking she'd been gone from breakfast for a long-ish time so went to check on her, heard her calling through her closed door. "knock, knock." Seems she'd turned quickly and lost her balance so succumbed to gravity. No damage but caused concern as she IS elderly. David helped me help her up then we just sat on her bed and talked for some time. She is concerned that she may be loosing her memory. A reasonable concern as all us more elderly people might do so. I think her worry is, maybe, more about how she will be seen by her children than...no that isn't quite right. I guess I don't think her limited memory loss is too significant. She has to be reminded to take her medications, else she gets distracted and doesn't take them in a timely manner. So what! Remind her and make a little joke about it or just admit that her children are more comfortable if they remind her and are confident she is taking the drugs as prescribed. It is a small adjustment. Her concern, her vulnerability, the inevitability of her death sent me into tears after I left her room. Fucking inevitability of death. Merde alor!!! I will try to be in touch with her much more regularly.

Easy driving, though a long trip, about 6 hours. Only one detour, slow down. Beautiful, though filled with traffic, day. David and I shared driving pretty equally. Not, he did more taking the beginning and the end after dark. We went to the Zimmerman boatyard to pick up the brackets that had been taken off Grace, just in case we decide to change the motor mounts. David and I had a good conversation about our options. We'll begin by checking all the bolts to see if anything is loose. Maybe buy some hours from another recommended mechanic to have a look at our vibration challenge. We've pretty much agreed, though, that if we can't fix the problem easily, there is no need to return to Zimmerman. That yard will charge us for any additional work and we might as well get into a warmer climate to have any additional work done. Sigh.

At the Zimmerman yard we re-met Michael who launched Grace about a week ago and who has two cats and loves all cats. He was on his way to a party but came back and helped us look for the boat parts that we wanted to get. What a dear he is. And we realize we don't know his last name or even the name of his boat. He is living aboard there at the yard...in the water. He spoke of leaving next year to move back to Stuart, FL. I'd love to run into him there. I'm really feeling the regret of knowing, briefly, wonderful sailing friends and expecting to not see them again. Another "sigh". My life is so filled with lovely, gently or exciting people and I have no ability to stay as intimately connected with them as I'd love to do.

Meanwhile, listening to the YoYo Ma/Bobby MeFerrin tape and remembering a dance I made at USM to this particular song. Such joy - so many joys - fills my life. And all is temporary. Kissing all these moments and these memories and the energy of dear, dear friends. Sweet souls. Love wins!

Hey, who is reading this blog regularly? I've no way of knowing unless you identify yourselves or "comment". 

recovery

Winston-Salem, NC

The day after Christmas celebration with my aging aunt Kathleen and my cousins and cousins' children and grandchildren. A house full of around 18-20 for the most delicious collection of pot-luck food. Stockings being unstuffed, presents opened, the game David and I learned at the Rebel Marina last week. More food. Lots of conversation. Squeals of the two young children who were here. They, and the young ones who came to visit this morning were VERY respectful of Amelia and petted her gently, according to my instructions. Today, however, Amelia is sleeping off the stress of so many legs and so much activity (petting included). Good thing she is mostly deaf.

I opened the 1000 piece puzzle one of my cousins got for Christmas, set up the card table and went at it last night after everyone had left. Amelia was sitting on David's lap when, suddenly, she leapt from his lap and ran to the door. Not reindeer she heard but a mouse in the house. She has not moved that fast in several years. She stood watch by the door for nearly an hour. Maybe all that exercise is what she is sleeping off today. Ironically, this morning aunt Kathleen dumped the dishwater and, wait for it, a drowned mouse. Sent the photo to Sharyl who hates mice and was sooooo thankful we'd shared.

The two young boys who visited this morning wanted to pet Amelia AND touch the dead mouse. Okay, and now we'll all go wash your hands with vigor. I'm sticking my tongue out as if "urp."

A family tradition in this household is to make a birthday cake for Jesus. I made the cake using aunt Kathleen's recipe which she has amended in other colors of ink. Nevertheless, the cake was cake-like and decent enough to eat. I'm confident Jesus was pleased enough with my effort. David helped with the decorating and we had some silliness with the icing.

          Aaarrgh! I can't get these photos to line up the way I want. Oh well.

After that silliness there were some delightful family photos, too. A couple of favorites: Shelby, below, and Turner and their dad,
Bradley, are Stephanie's family.  

Aunt Kathleen and evil (looking) John, husband of cousin Kay, below. Cousins Cheryl, Dale and various adult children and grandchildren are not shown, though they were very present and so well loved.

As cousin Cheryl was leaving she remarked, "oh no, we didn't even get to talk about books!"  We quickly exchanged most recent favorite titles - The color of Water from her and I gave her my Mary Snell gift, All the Light We cannot see, which I finished a couple days ago. Delicious book in both content and form.

Our holidays have been so filled with love and good fellowship and companionship...and food. We are/I am so very blessed to be a part of this family. I'm an only child but, my goodness, don't I have a huge family! Yes!! And there is my family of chosen friends and my Webster/Garrity/Ryan family in Maine. Such luck. Such Love.

Tomorrow David, Amelia, and I head back to Grace in Norfolk to see what headway and good decisions we can make about our ambitions to get to the Bahamas. Whatever we decide and/or fate chooses, LOVE WINS.

Family and church and food

W-S, NC

A full day of church, family and food. A joyful day. However, I have eaten more meat in the last two days than I generally eat in two weeks. Lunch today, out with  10 family members after church together, was vegetables. Greens, at last.

This morning's church service was a delightful rendition of the Christmas story presented by lots of small children. Couldn't hear much of the reading or even the carols. But hey, I know the story and I know the songs. It was too much fun watching the children perform in their various stages of skills, comfort and discomfort. I smiled a lot. This energy and innocence, opportunity to be hopeful.

Had a lovely chat with cousin Kay's son who finishes college this year, hoping to go to grad school, studying theoretical math. Honored that he was willing to chat and explain his passion to me. Pretty much over my head but I loved connecting his interest to my interest in quantum physics and mysticism.

We went to a Moravian Love Feast at a really large church, a well endowed church. The music was magnificent. We all were able to sing carols, those traditional Moravian buns were served with hot, sweet coffee w/milk. The serving was very formal and choreographed, had to be with 500+ people attending the service. I loved it! Like a giant communion. The minister said "You're all Moravians while you're here. I don't care what you are the rest of the time." "Well, I do are but..." There are two carols that bring me to tears: Oh Come All Ye Faithful especially the line "sing choirs of angels, sing in exaltation" and in  O Holy Night, "fall on your knees and hear the angels' voices".  Must have something to do with those angels or perhaps there is something in the musical phrase that tickles my soul. The choir also sang the Hallelujah Chorus and I chimed in on whatever part I knew best at the moment. In spite of the fact that I don't embrace Jesus as my king or savior, I can embrace the spirit of oneness and community in this celebration of love, forgiveness, inspiration, belief. I am part of this blessing.

This evening aunt Kathleen and I made a cake, for Jesus' birthday tomorrow. A family tradition in this household. She has "amendments" to the recipe tacked on her cabinet door. I couldn't figure out if I was supposed to add the amendment, just use the amended amount or totally ignore it.  I told Kathleen that if this really turned out to be a cake it would be a true Christmas miracle.

Cousin Dale and David discussed the boat engine transfer-of-vibration at length. Good. David got to think about it with someone knowledgable and I had a break.

I'm so enjoying this visit with family.

A good ending but a difficult beginning

W-S, NC

Yesterday, 12/23/17, was really an up and down day.

Up: Kathleen was ready to go out to breakfast with us to join Patsy & Gary at Arthur's. A first in many years so, let's go!

Down: David came home to sit on the phone with Enterprise, trying to exchange our rental car to a better one. Available car was in Greensboro. Are you crazy? Drive to Greensboro to get a new car? He was hurt by my remark and attitude and my change of heart from yesterday when he remembers me saying "good, let's exchange it" or something like that.
I was miffed at his need to have everything right according to his needs. I think my words were something like "It's tiresome, your need to have things perfect according to your desires."
After some time, sitting quietly, being in separate rooms he wondered if I wanted to hug. "No." More time apart in separate rooms. Maybe as much as an hour. Enterprise found a car in W-S, thanks to David talking to the manager in Norfolk, so we exchanged cars.
I think the stress of the boat, money and travel is getting to us.

Up: Some shopping for Christmas gifts for each other (no success but, really, is there anything we truly want or need?) and for stocking stuffers. A trip to a new-to-us store called Ollie's which is the W-S version of the Marden's we love in Maine. Fun wandering the aisles to get goods for the new "game" we learned at the Rebel Marina. Then food shopping and home to make dinner.

Up: No need to cook as Patsy and Gary brought so many leftovers from their Stewart family Christmas gathering. More food in Kathleen's refrigerator than I could imagine, and I worry about her having enough food. For dumb!

Up: Kay & John came, Dale came, all of us for dinner. More meat than I've had in several weeks! Yikes!!! Where's the green?!?

Down: Dale's daughter, Bobbie Jo, and her husband are in conflict again. Sad situation.

Up: New book started. Healthy, sheltered, warm, fed, surrounded by love and birth family.

On balance: My life is full, challenging, delightful. Blessed.

Road trip

Winston-Salem, NC

I awoke around 6:30 this morning to an alarm. Not the phone, wake-up alarm. Flashing light on the propane panel. "David, something is alarming." Up he went. A propane sensor in the engine room. Move some stuff. Take up the fatigue mat. Open the "barn doors" of the engine compartment. Sniff.

Nothing. Take the sensor out. Test the system. Won't reset. Take the sensor from under the stove. Test. That one works. So we made coffee! Put the good sensor in the engine compartment. Closed barn doors and replaced the mats and our stuff. Turned off the propane since we were leaving anyway. Had our coffee. All by 7:00 a.m.  We'll get a new sensor when we return from family visit in NC.

And David was totally sunk, lower than I've seen him be sunk, depressed. The propane sensor was sort of the straw/camel's back on top of all the anxiety and disappointment of the engine/prop/motor mount "fix." He's feeling really defeated and not knowing how/what to dig out of these boat challenges. My heart hurts for him. He's put sooo much work and energy into Grace and now it is uncomfortable. He says that he used to look forward to starting up her engine. Now he cringes when he gets ready to turn the key because of the vibration he knows is coming.

I was smart enough to know that I can't fix this for him and can't fix the boat for us. So, sit next to him and encourage him to speak of his grief. And grief it is. And frustration and anger. But grief. A dream interrupted. A situation out of his control in spite of all the work, time, attention, money invested. I encouraged him to let this situation just sit for the few days until after Christmas and family visit. Then we could make decisions about how/what next step to take. Then we can consider all our options with some distance. Disappointment, though. Supreme disappointment....to have an uncomfortable vibration that didn't exist to this extent before; to be so late in the sailing season and still be in cold weather in VA; to not have a clear plan of action; to not have the yard assuming some responsibility for our distress and the fact that they have NOT delivered as promised; our boat's un-fix; to not have the yard produce the product they assured us they would; to have the yard not have the work done in a timely manner as promised; to have this great financial expense (boat work, car rental, apt rental and now marina costs) and not be sure we can continue to the Bahamas as planned and dreamed.

So we packed up the rental car and left for Winston-Salem. About 30 miles out of town David wasn't confident that he'd turned the bilge pump to automatic. Call the marina and ask dock master to check. Not on automatic and the boat is locked. U-turn. Now there is a key hidden outside the boat. On the road again by noon.

Arrived at elderly aunt Kathleen's house around 7:15 p.m. A long day in the car. We all complained, including Amelia. She finally stretched out in passenger seat beside the passenger's thigh, tucked in under the seatbelt. My cousins Dale and Patsy and Patsy's husband, Gary, came over to visit us. Wonderful to see and chat with them. David to bed. Amelia is curled beside him. Kathleen and I toured the Christmas tree ornaments and the collection of family photos on shelves in the living room, her Christmas cards from friends and family.

I'm fading now, resting in the familiarity and love of this family, hoping that David, too, can rest here for a few whiles. It has been a particularly arduous, physically and, especially, emotionally couple of months for him. Some brief time to give up trying to figure out and fix, to just let it be. Releasing responsibility, letting it be, resting/waiting are not his strong suits, are major challenges for him. Deep breathes. At least 5 of them. Perhaps patience will allow clearer decisions. love, too.

Solstice

Norfolk, VA

Today we moved Grace to a berth, freeing up the transient dock, since we'll be away for about a week. Feels as if we are in suburbia now, surrounded by neighbors, most of whom are away.

I did not get back to shelf making as hoped today. But, pictured is yesterday's success. 

Successful because it is up, made of nylon that breaths through those holes, and holds the clothes it needs to hold. 

And our Christmas decorations. I think Sharyl gave us this boat several years ago.  There are green lights on the starboard side of the tinsel and red lights on the port side, totally in keeping with the nautical theme.

And I wrote a few Christmas cards today.

Kitty, Amelia, is now sleeping on the pilot house settee rather than hiding under the covers all day, especially when we are moving around in the boat. We'll move her to a different abode tomorrow and she'll have to be brave all over again in a new environment. Same for me though I know we're moving and she doesn't. Such a patient and tolerant cat, and travel companion.

I finished All the Light We Cannot See that Mary gave me/us for Christmas. Such a delicious book!

Solstice, light returns as our swiftly tilting planet tilts the other way. Is that what happens? I loved learning how winter happens when I was in 7th or 8th grade science but can't remember the specific how's now. But from now own for many months we gain daylight rather than loosing it. Winter's lack of daylight is really difficult for me, more so as I age. So celebrating Solstice and all the light return holidays this week.

And celebrating my dad whose birthday is on Solstice. I continue to draw on his support years after his death. He lived his life fully and with great integrity. He was, continues to be, a great model. Drove hard bargains, worked hard, loved/respected/supported my mom and her career, loved me and David. Was gentle, sometimes in spite of himself. A truly decent human. His more negative biases were a product of his culture, not his heart. Makes me smile in gratitude just thinking of him. Thanks, poppa. Love you.

Our rental car comes to us at 9:00 a.m. Much to do - what to pack???- before it arrives. Looking forward to seeing my wonderful, elderly and fading aunt Kathleen and hanging with her and my cousins for 5+ days. A little nervous about avoiding political conversations with those who may still think President Trump is right about most things. Avoidance means we talk less about things close to our hearts. Fear. New lack of intimacy with my beloveds.

Then back to our boat to make decisions about mitigating the boat's "excessive vibration" and continuing  our winter plans. But, Mercury will be out of retrograde so perhaps decisions will be clearer and easier. Even, a miracle could happen and the vibration undoes itself.

In any event, light is returning.

Home Improvements

Norfolk, VA

Sunrise this morning around 6:45 a.m. and the temperature was 54 degrees. Amelia and I got up and sat, meditated, emailed before David stirred. I never got out my jammies, my night shirt, all day long. I did put a shirt over and my jeans under and I didn't leave the boat except to turn on water on the dock.

I made a new shelf for clothes in the defunct hanging closet. Drilled little holes, put screw eyes in, stretched the netting I salvaged from Landon and Mike's house when they were giving me sewing supplies. I'll finish David's shelf tomorrow and we both can unpack...just in time to repack for Winston-Salem visit. Photo tomorrow. Uploading is too slow today.

We flushed the water tanks today. Disgusting gunk in the tank amid-ship. Some slimy stuff on the water filter and lots of "floaters", now gone. It took 3 tank fillings to feel as if the tank was relatively clean. The forward tank is more clean for some reason so less water flush to feel confident.

David got permission to use the marina band saw so he is finishing the "head" trim that he never got to on land. Lots of measuring and cutting and measuring again and cutting a bit more. I put some bungs in so he could place a vertical trim piece.

I tackled organizing the aft, port bunk storage space. And found some new storage space to be used for the power tools I think, those that don't need to be easily available at a moments notice.

This morning a mallard pair visited on the end of our dock. The female kept quacking, quacking, quacking. I could hear her some, but really could see her beak opening, closing, opening, closing. The male preened, fluffed his feathers, waggled his curly tail, tucked his head, lifted his shoulders around his neck (ears?). It was such a stereotypical male/female thing. Made me giggle. David and I had a pretend duck conversation. For a moment her mouth is closed in the photo.

Can't put down the book our friend, Mary Snell, gave us for Christmas - All the Light We Cannot See. What a delicious book! Back to it for me. Easy to go to bed since I already have jammies on.

Continued joy.

Rebel Marina Deal

Norfolk, VA

An eventful day. Currently sitting in the saloon, reading, writing, listening to Tedeschi/Trucks, heater running, David and Amelia as my companions. Warm, fed, safe as can be, comfortable. Settled....at least for the moment.

Max Zimmerman, general manager? CEO? of the Zimmerman yard came this morning to listen to/feel the vibration David is so distressed about. I'm, too, admitting that it is pretty uncomfortable and much different/worse than pre-work.

Before his arrival David attacked the wounded bilge pump again and I attacked every major clutter bunch I could get to in the short amount of time available. Cleared the Pilot House of debris and managed some order in saloon/galley. And got some grit and dirt up, as well.

Max arrived around 11:00 a.m. Such a pleasant and handsome man. Easy to converse with. He grew up from middle school in Greenville, NC so we talked a bit about NC coast. Engine room open. Look and look and look. Start the engine, reeve it, in gear, forward, backward, increase rpm. Off. "The engine isn't vibrating too much. Everything looks aligned. All is doing what it should be doing." There is excessive vibration, a "buzzing" as described by Max. So he agrees that there is vibration that is being transferred from engine to boat hull. We/David is not making that up. Phew! It was really important that the CEO agreed with out determination. David was relieved. No need to argue about that fact: the vibration and noise are excessive - very different than what the yard promised. They have done their work well and the results are not what was expected. Now to determine options to ameliorate the excessive vibration problem.... and negotiate how the cost is to be shared.

Meanwhile David and I have decided to not take Grace back to that yard, at least, now. Rather to continue our journey. Perhaps we'll stop at Zimmerman's in Southport, NC, or live with the excessive vibration this winter and leave Grace at Zimmerman's in the spring for a fix that will be negotiated and contracted NOW. We're thinking to leave our boat here at Rebel Marina and rent a car for the NC visit in a couple of days. My how time flies when the boat is excessively vibrating.

Goodbye to Max with promise to be in touch in a day. Bilge pump fixed. A couple of errands in big shopping center areas. Lots of traffic! And a short walk on a beach at Willoughby Spit. Ahhhh. The beach, the ocean, that transition from one to the other. I truly love the beach.

Perhaps this signage will give us some direction. Note the yellow one marking the distance to Key West, FL. Here we come....soon.

Today I was noticing signs of aging among we three on the boat -sagging skin on skinny arms with little muscle definition, chicken necks, stiff hips on Amelia, tentative balance or depth perception. No longer spring chickens, any of us. And here we are, journeying together, still. Relatively healthy, strong and somewhat flexible.

Filled with gratitude for all these many blessings and privileges. Very aware of the fact that so many live on edge of despair. What to do?

My friend, Judith Brown, left a message this morning saying it was a good day to be in Norfolk as there was more snow in Freeport. Truth, even though her message was before the engine problem had begun to be resolved.

Love wins!            Even if the stupid tax bill passes.

Hanging in Norfolk

Norfolk, VA

What is causing this distressing vibration in our boat?!?! Okay, engines vibrate. Grace"s, too.  But now that vibration is being transferred in the most vigorous way. Something is NOT in its proper place or alignment. But what? Where? Way above our pay-grade.

David spent most of the day talking with the leader at Zimmerman's Marina, American Diesel, mechanics here at Rebel Marina and friends on the phone. Ugh! Little, to nothing, I could do to even help think about this problem. Way, way, way above my pay-grade. So I did the laundry and figured out where to send the check. Not being able to help with the thinking or doing or solving of a problem leaves me.....frustrated and short tempered.

We did install a bilge pump that works. Apparently, the secondary bilge pump had never been wired into the panel. We keep discovering previous owner's work-arounds that don't work. The primary pump failed, wore out. Tomorrow maybe David will get the new switch installed so that the pump comes on automatically, in a reliable fashion.

Amid all this distressing - did I mention EXPENSIVE - Mercury retrograde stuff, we are safe and warm. Nearly 68 degrees today and sunny. And as was the case two years ago when we were here, we arrived on potluck dinner night. This year it was also "dirty Santa" potluck gift giving. What a lovely community of people gravitate around this marina. Reminds me of the community in Marathon, FL maybe even closer as there are fewer of us transients. Very welcoming folks. We got a silly gift, too, and gave one, as well. Christmas decorations in the pilot house. Clean clothes. And Amelia is almost sleeping through the night.

Joy

Norfolk!

Norfolk, VA

Some days are just hard. This one has been a difficult and successful day...so how bad can that be? A cold last night. Up and moving fast early this morning in order to catch the high tide and get out of the creek we're in.

Sisiphus, with help from Michael, put Grace back in the water this morning.

Michael helped us put the dingy on the davits then waved us off. We headed out into deeper water, to the mooring to secure the decks and have breakfast. I re-learned how to work the radios and immediate action to take in case of captain or cat going overboard.

David is really disappointed in the amount of vibration still in the engine - the boat, due to the engine. We were lead to believe that it would purr, "the only sound you'll hear is the exhaust".  First, we should never have been told that. Second, even though this IS a big engine, David thinks the vibration is barely muted from before this $11k fix. The propeller shaft fix IS excellent and much safer. But the new motor mounts have NOT solved the vibration problem as we were told it would. Not sure how we will ultimately address this. But extreme disappointment, especially since we'd met with management before the engine went back in to say if there is reason to think this isn't right (we'd heard mutterings among the mechanics), now is the time to address concerns and make it right. Perhaps the engine will "settle" onto its new "legs" and vibrate less. Still,  the vibration is not a purr. We have Amelia. We know "purr."

We released ourselves from the mooring and headed down the East River around 11:45. Onward to Norfolk, maybe even further south. There were minor limitations with our new GPS/multi-function B&G gizmo but nothing hazardous. For example, we had to do a split screen to get the chart and the depth rather than having the depth on the chart.

And I was scared. No way around it. David called it after I'd snapped at him a couple of times for no good reason. I've not been on the boat in more than 2 months. And I've not been out of familiar waters in 2+ years. And we were in the Chesapeake Bay which is a very big body of water. And it is cold. And the water is even colder. And we were heading into a MAJOR, LARGE VESSEL traffic area. And, a major military/naval base. I ask you, who wouldn't be scared if they have a brain about them. I have brains.

This big girl (if warships are still female which I'm not so comfortable with) followed us into Norfolk. We'd heard her on the radio...saw her facing us in a distance. From that perspective she was a wide platform with a tower in the middle. An aircraft carrier. Large! We hurried out of her way though there was NO chance she would fit into the little Rebel Marina, our overnight resting place. We were here 2 years ago. Friendly.

My lower back is hurting, has been for half-dozen days. Maybe the new apartment bed? Couldn't figure it out but stretched, breathed. Better. Then I helped David move the deep-cell battery back into the engine room. Oh! there's the culprit. So still tender from those out and in experiences.

So now, David has managed to get the water depth to show up on the chart plotter AND has made the AIS work so we can "see" and identify boats in our area, including the military vessels that give no information beyond speed and direction. Yikes! So our electronics are now doing everything they are supposed to do. We've eaten more of the Chinese take-out from last night. Refrigerator is turned on so the cooler is stowed. The electric heater is running and Amelia has waked for her dinner. Gentle rain outside and the slap of lines on nearby boats. Feeling safe and snug for the first evening on the water.

Our journey continues.

Back in the water tomorrow

Matthews, VA

What an incredibly busy and exhausting two days! Grace's engine room has been gapping open which means stuff was everywhere. The transducer was not working. Discovered that hydraulic fluid from the automatic steering had been leaking (sometime in our distant past) onto the transducer causing the bedding compound to melt. Leak! Disgusting mess that also made it not work. So out with the transducer. Clean it up! Put it back in - 2 people at $85/hour, each. They did a great job. Wait an extra day for the bedding compound to cure, the extra day because it has been cold at night. Done.

Aah, the bilge pump is constipated - it strained (ran) but nothing came out. Laxative? No such thing. Take the bilge pump out, clean it out/up and the bilge, too. Another disgusting job. Is the back-flow valve broken, clogged? A kink or clog in the hose? I've neglected to ask BUT, we think it will work now - new valve and a screen with all its legs for the pump to sit on, thus keeping much ganer out of the pump, itself. David is a total trooper hanging down into the bilge.

Meanwhile, we've moved out of our lovely apartment and out of our lovely rental car and have stuffed all that stuff onto little 33' Grace. This stuff in addition to the art supplies friends have given us fo schools in the Bahamas. And, remember, David already had his stuff (clothes, toys, etc) on board from the previous month of sailing. And the Mighty Mender. And two long pieces of teak about 4" wide, trim for the head that David wasn't able to complete before we left. And the new sail covers still need grommets and hooks before we can use them. aaarrrgh! Stuff.

And there is Amelia and all her stuff - kitty bed for being in friend's houses, wet food, dry food, kitty grass, water, kitty litter!, litter box and rug, carrying case and leash... As complicated as traveling with a baby.Thankfully we've made use of a lot of "hidden" storage that we've previously used ineffectively. And the new space freed up now that we have a composting toilet...no holding tank!! Now all those spaces are stuffed to the gils. I'm surprised Grace isn't bulging at her middle.

While David did most of the mechanical stuff I did the moving out, clean the apartment, moving on the boat and organizing, consolidating, tossing. There will be a box to ship back to Maine when we arrive at my family in NC. Lots of food on board - not a bad thing - because of my duplicating some that David and Albert brought on board- but no bread.

Nearly time to sleep. Up early to catch the high tide. 

Sea trial - passed

Matthews, VA

I dropped David at the boatyard at 7:20 a.m. so he could warm up the engine before he and John took Grace out for her sea trial, making sure all was well with the new engine alignment. A small fuel leak need to be disappeared and the cooling system had to be burped. Otherwise, all well.

I came back home to research dockage in Elizabeth City and Norfolk. Got great information from two marinas we'd stayed at 2 years ago on our first big ICW sailing adventure. I'm hoping we get to Elizabeth City on Saturday or Sunday. It is an interesting, safe place to leave Grace for the week of visiting family at Christmas.

Amelia and I went for a walk - actually, more to the point - I carried Amelia into the yard. She hunkered down, sniffed and headed for a porch, not our porch but the wide open spaces she fears. Then I carried her to another place on the lawn. She ate grass which inspired me to pull some up by the roots. Those pieces are now planted in Amelia's grass dish. When it takes root, Amelia may start eating her greens.  I'm posting a photo of our apartment exterior, just in case someone is feeling sorry for us.                     

We're not exactly slumming it here. One bedroom, Kitchen, Bath, big living room in two separate areas and the deck (with Christmas tree). How are we ever going to get moved out of here tomorrow or even Saturday. And get the apt cleaned.

It was GREAT to be on the boat this afternoon. I joined David around 11:30 a.m. My first time on the boat in nearly 2 months. It was chaos on board. We managed to get two batteries back in and the "barn" doors (covering engine/floor of the pilot house) on, closed half so there was easy walking space, no balancing on the engine block. I organized and organized and organized. Capricorn heaven! Put the bed in the aft cabin back together so we could sleep there tomorrow night and more fully move in on Saturday. I'm ready!

Meanwhile, I'm grateful for more privileges than I can remember to be grateful for. Shelter, warmth, love, food, interesting creative endeavors. New friends, our boatyard neighbors, Carol and Preston Elrod, joined us for dinner at Southwind Cafe. Freeport buds, Albert and Jenni, had recommended this place to us. GREAT pizza. Great conversation with Carol and Preston. Their boat is being winterized at Zimmerman's and they will live nearby through the winter and sail Chesapeake in the summer, familiarizing themselves with their new-to-them boat, expecting to travel south next fall.

It's hard to imagine how David and I are going to complete all the tasks for leaving Saturday - transducer, bilge pump, move out of and clean the apartment, move on to boat and stash way too much stuff and toys, re-provision, return the rental car!!! We have options, of course. One is to leave Grace in the water at the boatyard and keep the rental car and drive to NC for Christmas. Earlier this week that seemed too far in the future to consider. Now, Christmas is close. My how time expands and contracts. Still making efforts to not try to push Mercury. Relax into whatever is possible and/or preferred. We're fortunate to have resources to do so. Grace.

Engine aligned and Jones WON

Matthews, VA

Bright. Beautiful. Really cold for here - 28 degrees.

I delivered David to the boatyard around 9:30 this morning. He worked with John, our mechanic, most of the day fetching tools and doing his own work activities. I spent about 3.5 hours in the local library using their WiFi. Perfect. Got some banking done. Email. A little FaceBook. And lots of research into Windy, discovering the weather for the next week and figuring the distances from here to Norfolk, Norfolk to Elizabeth City, NC, and what amount of traveling we might accomplish in the next several days. 

Seems if we get out Friday or Saturday, make it to a little beyond Norfolk, then into the Dismal Swamp and into Elizabeth City. Still need to research marinas in Elizabeth City and safety of our boat in the winds that are expected next week. Leaving the boat for any amount of time like five days around Christmas, encourages me to fix the transducer leak now. Then, rent a car to W-S. This has become an EXPENSIVE trip to get even to NC.

David is talking to his sis now and speaking about how updated and shiny our engine is, comparing our situation to driving to Albany and getting new tires and oil change before you leave. I just asked about Sharyl's plan in case of power failure and no heat. And, I'll email Spencer to say welcome Sharyl if she has no electricity and, thus, no heat.

Shannon is putting money in my account tomorrow and then leaving for CO. I emailed the FHS guidance counselor. Getting all my care-taking ducks in alignment. Roll my eyes as if that effort is ever in alignment.

An eagle was perched on a piling about 20 feet from our deck yesterday morning. And this morning there was a really large Great Blue Heron fishing in the mud.







Tonight there is a meteor shower but we are overcast here. We remain concerned, but not too stressed, about leaving. We expect to move onto the boat by Friday latest, vacating our lovely, but expensive, temporary home/apt here.

Kitty is bored. I have energy and am really looking forward to getting on the boat and ORGANIZING - Capricorn heaven - and moving in!

Doug Jones won the senate seat in Alabama against the accused sexual predator, Roy Moore. Thank you African American voters who made it happen!!!

Joy.

In today, Out tomorrow

Matthews, VA

David and I have crowded Amelia off the sofa. David sleeps. I type. Amelia complains and swishes her tail. A long day of clouds and a bit of rain. David at the boat yard. Me at our temporary home.

Grace finally went in the water after almost 6 weeks out with engine realignment repairs. Lots of adjustments, some fabrication, some work arounds. Grace is aging and is from away (Finland) so parts are hard to find or impossible to find. But today she went back in the water. No leaking stuffing box. No leaking around the rudder. Beautious! But then David noticed a puddle, a small puddle but a puddle. Wipe it up.  Blop. Taste it. Salt water. Watch. Blop. Blop. A leak from the transducer! Aaarrrrghhh.

Is this a new leak? How would we know with all the other leaks that have now been eliminated (thank you Zimerman's Marine! and John and Bob). So Grace comes out of the water again tomorrow. David will deconstruct the transducer. It will be dried out, reconstructed with a new base (cha-ching), reinstalled. Back in the water.   

On a totally different topic, I had time to phone a couple of friends today including a college bud, Alana. Great to catch up with her and to check in with my neighbor, Mike. I also had time to, finally, to write a thank you note to dear friend and choreographer I'd just worked with last month, Betsy Dunphy. Her work, The Twenty, was powerful, a community dance project responding to paintings that were, themselves, a response to the murders of the children at Sandy Hook Elementary School some years back.

What I realized in writing Betsy was that I had felt safe enough to touch my rage, my despair, and my power as a performer. I made a 4 minute solo in the 60 minute piece. Betsy suggested the need for a transition between one section and another. She encouraged/directed/allowed my work. The safety that Betsy had created over the rehearsal period made it possible for me to  be immersed in the dance I made, to just BE the dance, and not concern myself with protecting myself or others from the rawness of my emotions and expressions of them. Whoa! What a gift. I've only felt this safety one other time in my dance career when I created it myself, more of a "nothing to loose" attitude. This was different in that there was a safe container for my feelings. It was this piece and the trust of my companion performers and creators that will resonate with me for awhile to come. How to create other safe spaces, or work with folks that DO create that space? How to continue to grow in trust,  confidence? How to not pretend? While rage is not my preferred state of being there was something profound in feeling it.

To be clear, my work in The Twenty was a tiny part of the entire piece/production. It is my personal growth through this work that I'm considering here, not the effect or contribution I may have had on the entirety of the work. My realizations, my safety, my sense of being a channel of energy. The creative team and performers were many and include 6 children, mothers and daughters, fathers and son, elders such as myself and young growing teens. A wonderful community of creators and makers.

Fear, rage, despair, unity, joy, grief......and keep taking the next step. A mantra for our times, too.

gone a week and still on land

Matthews, VA - on land

Grrrrrr. In spite of the beauty of this day - sunshine, 48 degrees, blue sky - frustration that Grace is still on relatively dry land. Mechanic, John, is working away but David and I have pretty much done all we can to ready the boat without getting in the way and given that the entire boat interior is torn apart to accommodate the engine repair.

We've put three sails back on and there are mountains of stuff to re-settle, clean and do AFTER she goes in the water before leaving for NC and onward. And, the weather is just getting colder. Never mind that today and tomorrow are to be deliciously warm and brilliant. Next week is looking sucky. Meanwhile, no pushing of Mercury! Even knowing the expense we're incurring I'm a bit more sanguine about our frustrating predicament than David is. He noted he was fearful I'd loose patience and abandon this trip (and him). I will loose patience/have lost, to some extend, but will not abandon the trip and certainly not him. We'll just make decisions as to how and how far to travel based on weather and comfort as those decisions present. We can't reasonably decide some things in advance. In for the pound at this point (reference to n 4 penny, n 4 lb.).

Mighty Mender and I worked together again today. MM complained but I pushed it to sew those fabric shelves. Together we succeeded. I still have to hand sew the loops that will attach to the screw eyes in the closet and then a final fit before putting the bias hem on the front edges.

Amelia and I went for a short stroll in the apartment yard today. She is pretty timid but wants to be outside for a bit. She more enjoyed going out on the deck a couple times this evening. While David was grocery shopping I put up "our" Christmas tree, the one our host left for us to use or not as we chose. Most of the lights flash. It is made of 6 triangles of plasticized chicken wire. I like it and it makes me feel more seasonal and festive. It's on the deck beside the picnic umbrella which looks a bit like a stage curtain.

Joy!                                   

New day

Matthews, VA

The sun is shining this morning. And it is supposed to be slightly warmer. Somehow knowing that Mercury is in retrograde makes my attitude lighter, too. "Extra Grace (is) needed" around all things mechanical, communicative, and technical. I might be able to practice patience a bit more, especially toward my partner here. Morning yoga helped, facing the sun out the deck door and view across the water/creek.

The past couple of days have been tough. The boat isn't done, as promised, and it is clear that the mechanics are challenged. Old boat, and Finnish (European), so parts are hard to come by and the space around the engine is cramped. They've had to make modifications and do work-arounds. And it is cold.

By morning my computer had NOT recovered from its "frozen" state of last eve. Wouldn't turn off. Wouldn't close apps. Wouldn't do anything. I plugged it in and closed it up. Luckily, this evening I tried just holding down the "close" button longer than normal. Worked! But I did think "Mercury retrograde" just rest for a bit and something will happen. No trying to push the river. I'm hoping we - David - can do the same, have the same patient attitude, with the mechanics tomorrow. And invite them to have that patient attitude with themselves and their work. No lolligaging, but patience. Mercury is too big to be pushed around by mere humans and our preferred schedules.

David and I accomplished lots on Grace today in spite of the chill. I brushed snow and leaves off the decks, cleaned the bilge some more, bent on a sail, fitted the new sail cover then put the old one back on (new one still needs closure hardware), cut a pattern for the fabric shelves mentioned in earlier post. David repaired the keel and put a skeg on to protect the rudder from nasty pot warp and other errant lines in the water. Tomorrow will be another sewing day for me. A functional, creative endeavor.

Laundry mat adventure and home by 4:30 - still daylight. I made soup, made Amelia go outside. We three took a nap before dinner of said soup. AND, watched t.v. on an old set with screen about 16 x 16". Sixty Minutes and lots of commercials.

The photo is of a "do it yourself" power line support that we pass on our way to the boatyard. Just before the photo snapped there was a sparrow hawk sitting on one of the points of this leftover tree, cleared from the field.

I like the attitude. Also, deer hunting season continues until the end of December. We've seen several deer near the road. Perhaps the only safe place since hunters won't shoot toward cars. The deer are much smaller, and grayer, than Maine deer - only about 3' tall at shoulder.

Snow/sleet/snow

Matthews, VA

A slow morning of coffee, reading. I tackled the cute little Mighty Mender sewing machine.  Frustrating. Took me several hours to get it to work properly. Tiny, plastic spaces such as bobbin winding and insertion are challenging for my aging fingers and eye sight. Also, I'd missed a thread guide so the needle wasn't picking up the bobbin thread. And then...and then..but finally, success and I made two, count them, TWO successful seams (including back stitching) to finish a small project.

I'm noticing that Amelia is sleeping longer before she starts waking me at her two hour intervals, midnight to 7 A.M. This causes me distress so I get up to make sure she is still breathing. She's old, and I worry about her. Similar to new parents waking up to make sure their newborn is still alive. Amelia went out several times today and this evening. Wanting to be outside. Not particularly liking the snow and cold. Sniffing to discover familiar smells. Not sure there are any here for her.

David and I went to the boatyard to gather a few things from the boat that we need at the apartment. Then took off for an afternoon of adventures - library book sale that our host told us was great (it was/is); then drove to Yorktown to visit West Marine Express for zincs for the engine. Continued to Newport to visit the Maritime museum there. A great exhibit about the Monitor, an Ironclad Civil War ship that has been found off Cape Hatteras. I surprised myself by being interested in that particular technology, how the South and the Union developed it differently, how both had flaws to be corrected. Really good educational exhibit. I am struck these days, though, by the "whiteness" of exhibits and the "gift shop" offerings. Was it Howard Zinn who said that the victors write the history?   From their perspective, of course.

I'm feeling a bit stranded here, not knowing when to expect the boat to be ready for us to move back aboard and get her in the water. Makes it impossible to plan. Should we settle in?, leave for NC family visit?, seek a volunteer opportunity here?, really explore this area and go exploring? Actually, we want to stay visible to the boatyard to keep the management focused on our project. And there is the "cha-ching, cha-ching" stress of all the related costs...the boat work, the apartment rental, the car rental. Knowing, too, that Mercury is in retrograde is distressing with the incumbent mechanical, technological and communicative challenges that brings. I'm impatient, worried, in need of a creative outlet. Perhaps sewing the fabric shelves tomorrow will be helpful.

Warmer tomorrow, and sunny, according to predictions. Winston-Salem and Freeport have snow.

Still shivering

Matthew VA

This has been a sixes and sevens kind of day, not quite snarky but could have easily slithered in that direction. I started a bunch of stuff but finished little. The muffin frittatas stuck to the muffin tin. It is raining. It is cold outside and cool inside. Al Franken has said he will step down from the Senate.

David went to work on the boat, pressing hard to get all he can do, done, while keeping out of the way of the mechanics. They, the mechanics, are clearly being stressed by our being present. When we learned that the boat repairs were not going to be completed as promised by December 1, we wanted to get here specifically to keep the company focused. They are pressing to get that engine aligned and re-installed...or re-installed and aligned. When David left last month the mechanics got called off to other things. So, we're here now, as planned. Grace is not finished but IS the focus again.

I stayed at the lovely apartment, said goodbye to our hostess who is going on a European cruise for 2+ weeks, tackled email and writing my MoC (Members of Congress), took out the Mighty Mender that I purchased 2 years ago for $10 at the church yard sale. When someone asked what I was going to do with it, "Put it on the boat and let it rust," I said. It is a cute little sewing machine, hasn't been on the boat yet, and I look forward to sewing on it sometime in the next 3 days...making fabric shelves, turning the useless hanging closet in the aft cabin into something more useful - shelves. Some reading. Monthly receipt organizing and determining, sort of, average daily expenditures. I've done this since our 8-month boat trip in 2015-2016 just to see how we are using our money. I'm nearly ready to give up the practice.

I gathered David around 3 PM and we did some errands, food shopping, back home to apt. to cook and a game of "take two." David became horizontal around 8:30. I'll continue to read for a bit longer.

As we came in this early evening (did I mention rainy?), a big raccoon trundled across the yard. And the deer here are really small, about 2.5' - 3' tall. I realize that I have to look lower to the ground if I want to avoid them on the road edge.

Tomorrow, rain predicted so we'll take a play day and do some sight seeing.  Mercury is in retrograde until nearly Christmas. Be cautious/careful with all things technological, mechanical, and involving communication. It's a fragile time for such.

Practice joy (even in the cold rain).

Matthews, VA shiver

12/6 Matthews, VA

Finally we've arrived at our temporary destination, more or less settled into the sweet apartment we are renting since we can't live on our boat...yet.

Our road journey was easy enough if you count 3 days of driving easy. We shared driving responsibilities but David did a lions share, especially in congested city areas. Getting across the GW Bridge between NYC and NJ was slow and tense and noisy. Perhaps we can never again drive across that bridge. Surely the Tappan Zee farther up river is easier - less crowded and prettier.

We found pet friendly motels so kitty was welcome. She has NOT enjoyed the car ride even though she has slept most of the travel time. Actually, she's sleeping most of the time. No major yowling at night, awakening me for food only a couple of times to eat rather than every 2 hours or so as at home. Today's travel, after we crossed the Potomac River, was calm with limited traffic, and beautiful. Large expanses of farm land put to bed for winter. Lots of horses and one sighting of LOTS of goats, white with brown necks and heads. Odd but lovely. We listened to lots of news and analysis and wrote our Members of Congress last night, several times on several different topics - having heard that MoC like a letter/email for each concern rather than a laundry list. Laundry list describes my concerns...so very many.

We stopped at Zimerman Marine to have a look at Grace and pat her hull. Then on to our temporary abode. I settled the cat and myself while David went back to Grace to chip away at the chipping bottom paint. We'll both go tomorrow to spend the day on boat bottom work, hoping to get new bottom paint on before it turns too cold to stick...on Friday. YIKES!

Meanwhile, all three of us are glad to be "settled" for several days and only driving (sans kitty who will sleep in the apt.) for 15 minutes each way to and from Grace.

Albert and Jenni's boat looks ready for winter. Magus is across the yard from Grace. I'm sure they are buddies as their captains have become.

Ready or Not...

...we've left Maine! What an arduous day! Mine started around 6:00 A.M. and it is now 8:50 PM in Sturbridge, MA. A non-stop day of packing, cleaning, packing the car, going to the bank and the P.O and the dump. Saying goodbye to neighbors and the neighbor's cat and the other neighbor's elder dog who ambled up for a visit then chased the other neighbor's cat. Bad, old dog. So many goodbyes. On the plus side is that both David and I have passed on clothes that we've quiet wearing.

I took a walk down our frozen dirt road this morning. All the grasses were covered with hoar frost. Cold. Beautiful. Pond, frozen. How fortunate to live in such a beautiful place. But/and...cold.

The car is packed to the gills. How, oh how, or where oh where are we going to put all this stuff on the boat? Holy cow! Some of the stuff is food that we didn't want to leave behind so that will disappear. We are bringing lots of paper and art supplies, expecting to make it to the Bahamas where we will pass the supplies onto schools. And we have all the elder kitty paraphernalia, including kitty litter!

Finally, we left the homestead, with one little look back, sigh, goodbye. 3:14 PM rather than 10:00 AM. Aaaarrrgh. But the house looks great! And, hey, what's the rush?

And now kitty sleeps beside me while David and I watch t.v. ...a fun activity since we don't have a t.v. at home. I might last another hour before sleeping. Onward toward Annapolis tomorrow, perhaps to visit friends, Lynda and Jeff.

Joy.

Almost Ready

December 2, 2017

Beautiful, chilly morning in Freeport, ME. We're two days out from leaving this home, starting the car journey to re-join Grace in VA. Then onto...wherever...further south. Everything seems immediate, and fragile. So many tasks will not get completed, friends not visited, conversations not had due to the press of time. Who will be here when we return? Nothing and no one will be the same, including ourselves. My relationship to change is filled with love and hate. And, of course, there is no choice. Change is....constant. More so, even than death and taxes.

I have this urge to touch everything and everybody, to freeze all in my mind as it is now. To remember this frozen state rather than embrace all the evolution.

Meanwhile, the house is chaotic in spite of the brief facts of cleaned and straightened and in "perfect' order only 4 days ago. There has been a great deal of clearing out, giving away, a little selling, and organizing going on. David has made (sewn) new sail covers and a Bimini cover and helped Spencer get his boat in our shed and monitored our boat repairs and new equipment. My goals have been more in the letting go of stuff and making visit dates with friends, not as willing to let go of them.

This morning I've packed food, I'll dance and go watch dance at Bates College and enjoy those friends for a brief moment.

I can't remember a time when I've enjoyed "leaving" but I am totally excited about this continuing journey, on the boat, traveling with David and Amelia "on Grace" - literally and spiritually.