Monday, March 12, 2018

another day without snow

Lake Worth, FL

A restless night with dream segments but nothing really narrative. And Amelia was awake differently than she has been these last couple of weeks. So I worried about her a bit and was alert to her movement and needs, as far as I can determine her needs.

We listened to Chris Parker's weather this morning. I appreciate that I'm beginning to know where places are by name and where the wind is by degrees on the compass. New information and knowledge by osmosis. Our young friends who'd left yesterday called in to get the weather from Mangrove (?) to Great Sale. Wonderful to hear of him, thus them, about the progress they've made.

We hung the bicycles over the aft deck, a new way to get them into the dinghy, using the mizzen boom to lower them. Much easier this way since the bimini structure went up. Muscle-ing them down the small side deck has always been arduous. Over the aft railing with mechanical help rocks! So both bikes are back on land.

David took off on an errand and I had a great catch-up conversation with my dear friend, Stacy. What a treat! I'm blessed with good friends near and far. I charged my computer and took a survey through Survey Junkie, a don't-get-rich-too-quick idea. Makes me a little nervous but I'm doing it anyway. Spare time on my hands and no dance studio or open space. And sort of fun. One survey was about aging in place about things that stand in the way of that process and ideas of how to mitigate those issues.

Back on the boat David went into the engine "room" to investigate a couple other leads in the overheating engine challenge. I took on "what to do with the sleeping bag now that it is 70+ degrees." I was thinking to throw it overboard. But I found a place to bury it instead. Life is not too bad when you no longer need and can bury the sleeping bag!

The day progressed. Still have not found the potential cause of engine hot flashes. Tomorrow we'll test the thermostat. Now wouldn't it be EXCELLENT if a faulty thermostat is the cause. Fingers crossed. I'm really weary of boat issues, along with weather issues. Just today I was getting used to the idea that we were to be here for another week, no hope of leaving before the weekend due to weather in the Gulf Stream. So thinking how to enjoy this place... copying the song...if you're not in the place you love, love the place you're in. I'm down with that. Art museum. And tomorrow a yoga class, at least, and a bike ride. The great rain storms, squalls, seem to be over for a while. I'm down with that, too.




Sunday, March 11, 2018

daylight savings rest

Lake Worth, FL

Alright. Got through that. Some conversation with David, challenging questions for both of us but some new understanding of viewpoints,. Not necessarily any change of action so...is there a point? Yes, called communication. I did a bit of sewing to move along that hatch screen I began when we were in Manatee Pocket...seems like months ago but only weeks. Realizing that our friends, Gary and Jayne, are on their way north again, stopping to visit St. Augustine for a week or so.

We partied on a neighboring boat last eve...drinks and snacks and conversation with 2 other neighbor boaters. Others were in their mid/late 40s to mid 50s. Youngsters. Fun. A little loud and not particularly interested in getting to know us better in that environment. We left around 9, being the elders, and the party continued even more loudly with the 5 remaining folks. I was quietly offended by one woman's description of an elderly gentleman she followed up a marina ramp. She spoke of him as being in his 90s and made fun of his slowness and gait. She is a missionary. Unfortunate, her lack of generosity, patience and not embracing difference.

Except for that small excursion to the neighboring boat about 20 yards away, we've been on Grace for two days now. Slept in this morning. No need to check the weather as we're not leaving for the Bahamas until we resolve the engine overheating issue. So, slept in. Even Amelia was delighted to sleep until past 8 which was really past 9 AM given the start of daylight savings time.

Both David and I did some reading, texting, I had a wonderful catch-up phone call with my friend, Carol. We put some cleaner in the engine as suggested to our boating friend, hoping that would begin to address the engine discontent.  David continued in the engine compartment and I searched for the manual for our solar panels operation. Not too much luck on my end, found the quick start brochure, but/and I did eliminate lots of paper that was no longer timely or was duplicated elsewhere. My continuing effort to consolidate or toss.

We took a nap around 5 PM and got up to sit on the aft deck, then dine. David just finished a long chat with a boating buddy/friend from 2 years ago, asking for engine/cooling advice. Dan is a refrigeration expert.

Weird dreams last eve: getting ready for a dance rehearsal and having no idea what the movement was. I repeated this dream at least twice during the night. Stress dream for real. The other dream, also repeated at least twice had to do with being on a steep roof and trying to get onto the steep ladder in order to get down. The challenge was to get down the roof to the ladder without sliding off the roof, then to get on the ladder without pushing the ladder away, then to stay close enough to the roof to not push the ladder away with me on it. The 2nd time through the dream I thought that if I was on the ladder and it started falling backwards I needed to remember to fall flat on my back for less injury. That time there was deep water below the ladder. Safer. ????

My mother's energy (my mother) has been really present the past couple of days. Glad to have her here.

Saturday, March 10, 2018

today's question

Lake Worth, FL   still

Why is this so hard? From the beginning way back in October this journey has been fraught with difficulties.  I was not at home for the provisioning; David left alone joined by Albert along the way; overnighting along Jersey shore there were engine difficulties; replace bunches of stuff at Zimmerman's and still not having it right; lay up in Norfolk with another tackle at the engine problem; then frozen in; then the bridges were frozen in; at Alligator River frozen in again; now in FL weather has prevented crossing to the Bahamas on two tries; engine is overheating on the way.
Hmmmm.

Now there have been wonderful aspects to this journey in spite of all the challenges. But just now I'm considering what it means, to me, to David that it is so challenging. And I'm noticing that these challenges are over 5 month timeline (and a bunch of money in case I was considering that) and 7 or 8 challenges over that time span is not a whole lot, I guess.

But what does this mean? What are the lessons, what is a major lesson, to be learned here? I appreciate that we, David especially, are willing to turn back and not just plow onward. I wonder if there is something wonderful husband needs to consider. But, really, what are my lessons here? What is this journey about for me?

Some considerations for me and my growth:
  I'm following - this was not my idea but I'm, mostly, a happy participant in my beloved husband's dream. How wonderful to be in the Bahamas (if it ever happens) and how fine to get there according to DCW's dream of sailing there (as he did as a young man), and on owr own boat.
  My role is helper - not initiator, not leader. Okay, I know that's not my favorite, long-term role.
  My community is at a distance. Who my community is sometimes evades me and my closest buds are, generally, at a geographic distance anyway so...?
  My community of dance and community engagement is at a distance. I miss dance and yoga.
  I'm generally disengaging from my on-line political community, not really my community anyway but a way to pretend I'm effecting change.
  I keep considering community.
  I'm at a deficit of creating without function of that created. No creative play and engaging with other's creativity.

What is it about our engine overheating? We came all the way down the ICW, running it at the same level of stress but now it overheats. A sign from God? or the Devil? A friend says it is the backwash in a following sea. The exhaust can't get out.

I think I don't want to talk to anyone today. To much to consider. Perhaps I'll put the bimini back up and sit in the shade. I also don't want to "entertain" myself with reading or a trip to the farmers' market, though I may do both. Just seems that thinking, being, maybe conversing about these questions with David, is potent.

And the world continues to turn...something like that was the title of a soap opera on t.v. People continue to be born and to die. And great niece, Maggie, is probably performing as I write!

Life is good.

Friday, March 9, 2018

Piss!

Lake Worth, FL

We spent much of the day preparing to make another attempt at crossing to the Bahamas. Laundry. Banking. Bikes back on board. Composting toilet emptied.

Nap and dinner.

Off at 7:00 PM. Back on mooring at 10:40. Merde alor!!!

The rollers in the gulf stream, plus a chop on top of them, were too lumpy.

Exhausting. Weary

International Women's Day

Lake Worth, West Palm Beach, FL

A much better day today. I knew my mood would swing but appreciate friends who called to check on my state of mind.

Off the boat by 10:30 and out to adventure in West Palm Beach. A walk of about 1.5 miles to find the free Molly Trolley. That took us forever, finding a stop, but...SUCCESS. It took us downtown and the conductor/driver told us which way to walk to get to the Yellow Line which would take us all around the shopping and arts district. But we were starving so stopped for pizza before continuing. With food our decision making capacity improved and we decided to forego town and go to the Mounts Botanical Garden where a sculpture exhibit, "Washed Ashore - art to save the Sea, was installed.






Martin the Marlin...the exhibit is to draw attention to our over-use and throw-away mentality of plastic which, as we all know, lasts forever...forever as we know it.

We were  asked to look for kids' toys, metal can tops, shoes, bottles, etc. fish line, netting, rope...the lists went on and on.












Julia the jellyfish. Not sure that was her name. Could have been Jason the jellyfish. Gender undetermined.



Lots and lots of individual plastic water bottles are the heavier tendrils. Bring your/our own rather than buying those.







The first large iguanas we'd seen since being in FL. This beauty was more than 3' long including the tail. She/he was close enough that we could see the texture of the skin which looked like light weight maul, protection, for sure. And check out those thigh muscles!




The beautiful green iguana below was nearly hidden from view.  We seemed more interested in the wildlife and sculptures than the gardens but they were lovely, too.











Are those round spots on their necks, ears? Research needed.









After garden we did major grocery shopping - provisioning - again. We now have enough food on board for weeks. Our selections, chosen for durability,  shelf life, could get boring but we will not starve in the Abacos. Besides - chocolate, pasta, peanut butter, beer - what more is needed. Amelia doesn't even know to appreciate that we are well stocked with cat food, but we are. Besides there ARE grocery stores in the Abacos.

Did some boat prep last night and will continue that this morning. Planning a nap this afternoon for expected departure early evening. Two more boats are heading in the same direction ast. With more fair winds and seas we should see sunrise tomorrow (Saturday) at Great Sale Cay.

Reminding everyone who tracks our progress that we will have limited access to internet and phones while in Abacos so no blog for several days.

P.S. a much better day being off the boat and doing a different adventure yesterday.









Garden window...a painted frame looking "out" on colorful bush.










Sunset via Captain David, 3/8/20, celebrating
International Women's Day


I forgot to post my painting efforts, copying to the current best of my ability a watercolor from the Manatee Lagoon.

Oops. My peli is standing on her head. Turn your computer, or your self, to get the best view.












Wednesday, March 7, 2018

just waiting

Lake Worth, West Palm Beach, FL  3/6/18


Busy and productive day. Got the bimini top up, sort of remembered how to lace it. It provided welcome shade and managed to stay together during some gusty wind. David and I worked together cooperatively through the entire process.

We came ashore so he could have a drug test for renewing his captain's license and I had a list of things I could do easily enough on shore with electricity, and get 2 pages printed for Freeport Players Executive search committee meeting last eve. We had maybe 14 applicants and chose four to interview. Being "away" I won't be involved in the interview process but am pleased to have been involved in the first steps of cover letter and resume reviews.

David was a bit late returning from his test. He brought food but had forgot that I had a meeting. So I felt rushed. And the crossing back to the boat was rough and wet. Ugh. I might be holding a grudge...that he forgot about my needs. It happens...his forgetting...and my grudging.


Today, Wednesday, 3/7, I'm not particularly light and chipper. I'm tired of waiting, of putting my needs (?), desires (?) second or third...to weather (! duh!), to David, to the boat. Have I been here before?!?!! I guess! "Roger. Roger," as they say on boat radio. I prefer to not try to remember the waiting times. I'm annoyed enough, though, that this morning when David and I were about to pass on a narrow part of the deck and he said "wait a minute" I said "No, I'm not waiting" and gave some reasonable reason (carrying my computer) but really meant "you wait."

"Here we sit waiting, waiting in a huddle." "Surely by Christmas the ships will come." Lines from The Lost Colony, the women are waiting...along with the men but it's the women who voice the frustration. No huddle here, but waiting.

Then there is the 'no urgency' but 'be ready' aspect of waiting for the weather window. So I haven't finished the mosquito screen for the forward hatch. The wind is blowing too hard for mosquitos to be a problem. But there will be mosquitos. But no urgency. Not like 12" of snow coming to Maine and do we have enough fuel and food for the several days of no driving.

I waited with my mother for her to die...always with her even if not physically present all the time during those last weeks. At the beginning of our knowledge of death sooner rather than later. We did things. We talked. I did things for her. I worked with love. It was exhausting, emotionally and physically.

I waited for Maggie to be born, for Shannon to give birth. Waiting in the hospital, in Shan's room for a while then she only wanted her mom and husband there. Cool. David and I waited down the hall and happened to be outside her door when Magz first cried out. Very wonderful. Then Sharyl came out and fell into our arms. Joyful sobs.

I've waited to go on stage many, many times. I've waited to leave...people, places, jobs.  I've waited by the phone, sobbing and deciding that after crying as much as I was going to, then I could choose whether or not to make a call to a man I had left. Co-counseling skills before I knew the technique. I've waited for sun rise, waited to go.

Waiting waiting waiting waiting...how much of my life has been spent in waiting?

I'm particularly annoyed that I've not done any watercoloring, copying some beautiful pictures from the Manatee Lagoon, even though I've been carrying around all the equipment for the past two days. Okay. Not such a long time. But I'm not doing anything creative being creative, playing at creating....without functionality...just playing with materials or ideas. In private.

All frustration set aside for a moment.... I'm sure I'll get back to it.......

We brought the dinghy in to the Sailing Club beach this morning to do some cleaning and repairs. The floor that David had made years ago was coming apart. It was a little scary yesterday crossing in the white caps with pieces sliding around. So clever husband made some new side stiffeners using his math and woodworking skills and free electricity at the club. I cleaned the dinghy, getting to wade in the salt water. Then together we reconstructed the dinghy floor. Looks great and much improved structure. Already I feel safer whether or not I am.

I'm not having a particularly good day. It will pass...my mood. And it is warm. And there is no snow in our forecast.
 







Monday, March 5, 2018

waiting on the beach

Lake Worth, West Palm Beach, FL

Sunday, 3/5, was mostly a boat day...actually totally a boat day for me. David made several trips to shore for a variety of reasons...and I was pleased to have the boat for myself. I did some cleaning. Did a lot of computer work including starting to read resumes for a new Executive Director for Freeport Players, made some phone calls, including checking in with my Thibodeau neighbors, Landon and his dad, Michael. Began to arrange for brown tail moth control later this spring and broached the topic of leaving Grace south of Maine. All this in a single short day. Also did some early morning stretching on the deck and a bit of just "deck sitting" enjoying the view. Dinner of pasta on board, sun fading to night.

Monday, 3/6, David has been getting up earlier than I in order to hear Chris Parker, weather guru, each morning at 6:30. Amelia gets fed, coffee gets made and I sleep in until 7:30 or 8 or this morning I got up to get some coffee and went back to bed to read. Not a bad life.

When I finally got up and had breakfast we gathered our stuff, including the beach umbrella, and dinghied to Peanut Island. A beach day! I swam in the almost ocean, same water but inside the barrier islands. The wind was much lessened and the waves on the Lake much diminished. It took us about 20 minutes to get to the island. We tied up in a little cove, near the volunteer sheriff boat and took off on a walk around the island. Don't know how big the island is but the walk felt good. We discovered that the east side of the island (we landed on the west side) faces the ocean and has small waves. There is a barrier island between ocean and Peanut but a small inlet...in - let, so to speak...letting water in. Next beach trip we'll dinghy to that side which is closer to our boat anyway.

We parked ourselves and our snacks on the smaller beach (no waves) facing the channel. Swimming was not swimming but floating in warm, salt water. Delicious. Then sitting, talking, reading, watching.

David found a coconut and split it. Not good. He found another and brought it home. It seems to be younger.   

The coconut we brought home is better...goes well with dark rum. It took some work to get it open, including lots of You Tube viewing. Not sure how we're going to use all the coconut. The milk is already gone.
Captain motoring us home past the very large yacht, Infinity, in front of the welcome center for commercial cruise ships. See how perfect the day has been.

Showers taken. Cousin Nancy wasn't able to stop this trip. Perhaps tomorrow. No worries as we expect to be here through the week. Two younger, braver, more carefree sailors are planning to leave Wednesday in less favorable conditions than we want to consider. Over the weekend there is another narrow window that we might consider.

Waiting.

I've more to say about waiting at another time....biding my time....waiting for.....